Guest Blogger ... Dena Dyer

Be sure to check out Dena's wonderful blog, Mother Inferior and sign up for her FaithLifts!


Developing a Gratitude Attitude

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus" (Eph. 5:19-20, NIV).

Have you ever tried gratitude journaling? By that, I mean writing down four or five things a day that you're grateful for. The rewards of such a discipline are numerous -- time with God, time with self, and (hopefully) a new outlook on life.

"There is always something in life to be grateful for," says Georgia Shaffer, author of A Gift of Mourning Glories and a cancer, divorce, and job loss survivor. "Even the victims of the Holocaust -- like Corrie Ten Boom -- found things to be thankful for in concentration camps. If you have to, just look at God's creation."

Start with your relationship to Christ. Has he helped you through tough times? Made you more patient?

Sherry Corley is a committed journaler. "The best thing about journaling is that God uses it to help me find peace in the midst of turmoil," she says.

Her advice to others who want to get started, but feel hopeless or helpless about life? "Sit down and pray that God will speak to you. Then begin to jot down everything that comes to your head. Just let the pen flow, holding nothing back. If you don't see God's answer immediately, wait a couple of days and go back to your journal. It's amazing how God can speak through journaling."

Another great technique is scripture journaling. In Words that Hurt, Words that Heal, Carole Mayhall writes: "Look up three things in Scripture tomorrow morning for which to thank the Lord. Then add three things from the world around you. Each morning add one more from both the Word and blessings God has given you. Then ask God to help you come back to those things and thank Him throughout the day. My hope would be that after a month, you will have learned some new thought patterns that will take over for the rest of your life."

How to Create your own Gratitude Journal:

1. Find something to write in, whether it's a three-ring notebook or a fancy bound book. "Find something that fits you and makes you want to stick with it," says Shaffer.

2. Find a space and a place.

3. Make time to write -- preferably the same time each day.

4. Write whatever is on your mind. "Don't edit yourself," says Shaffer.

5. Be content with your own speed and methods. Says author Luci Shaw: "Your journal is a process, as well as a product."

Lord, develop in me a thankful heart, that I will daily "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits." (Ps. 103:2).


Copyright © 2003, by Dena J. Dyer. Used by permission.

Dena Dyer is a busy wife, mom, and entertainer and she is constantly losing things—but she’s holding onto her sanity (barely). Her favorite forms of therapy? Cuddling with her two sons, date nights with her hubby, reading, and blogging.

Dena is thankful for her creative life, which is varied and full. In between driving carpools, helping her boys with homework, and shuttling kids to soccer practice, she writes, speaks to women’s groups, and performs part-time at a Christian-owned professional music theater, Rockbox Theater.
Her husband, Carey, works alongside her as a principal cast member at Rockbox Theater. The couple met in a post-college singing group and dated “on the road” before marrying in 1995. “Carey’s my best friend and my biggest fan, and I’m so thankful God has given us each other. I couldn’t pursue my dreams without him,” Dena says. “He even cooks!” (Sorry, ladies—he’s taken.)

Her publishing credits include the books Grace for the Race: Meditations for Busy Moms and Mothers of the Bible (both with Barbour), compilations such as Chicken Soup for the Sister’s Soul Woman’s World and HomeLife, and tips for Working Mother, Family Circle and Parenting.

Guest Blogger ... Stephanie Garvey

Perspective
(from a mom of toddlers)



Children, children, children. Wow. While definitely a blessing, they can really get at you, huh? My boys (1 &3) had ants in their pants Monday, so I got out the chalk and gave them a rag to clean off their chalkboard before proceeding. Great! This gives me some time to catch up on reading for 2 minutes and returning emails for 2 minutes! :) 4 minutes later I went over to make sure they were being good. And what I found was a perfect picture of original sin. They were wetting their blue and red pieces of chalk with the rag I had given them and writing all over the carpet (which they knew was a huge no-no)! I had David(3) help me clean it up for the next 15 minutes. I was so grateful it was coming up that I figured it was okay that I was spending my time cleaning it. As I finished the last little streak a noise caught my attention. It was a scribbling noise. I looked over to see Liam (1) aggressively marking the light colored wall with black crayon. Don't get frustrated this won't take that long to clean up. Wrong again! After I ushered my little stinkers outside to play, I used every household cleaner I had looked at several websites for advice and still there was large gashes of black all over the wall. Finally I covered the art work in soda paste and decided to leave it for the rest of the day. You might think that those little boys could do no wrong in a fenced backyard, but no, they had taken a magazine as I was pushing them out the door and had shredded it. All. Over. The. Deck.

That was it.

Nap time came early yesterday and I stomped back downstairs with the camera so I could show my husband what a disaster the house was that morning before I cleaned it up. I decided that I had to stand on the counter to get the full affect of the mess. It wasn't enough that I had just had to leave all my family and friends to live in a new place with no help? They had to be BAD, too?! I grumbled as I climbed up onto the counter. But as looked through the lens I started laughing.

From that perspective I could see all the stations of playing and creating where my boys had been all morning...that had given them joy, entertainment and opportunities to gain wisdom on what is right and wrong. God brought back to mind when we were hiking in the Alps.


I could be near one of the most breathtaking sights of my life, but if I just looked at the dirt path and my shoes trudging along, I would never appreciate those glorious mountains. God was letting me see Monday morning through a new perspective. And I need that.

Or all I will see is dirt.

_________________________________

Stephanie Garvey has moved 6 times in the last 14 months, but currently is in the beautiful NorthWest. She is a stay at home mom of 2 energetic boys and lucky wife of their dad. You can catch up on their latest and greatest at www.thejoycenteredlife.blogspot.com

Guest blogging at Michael Hyatt.com today!

I love this article because it's not just about leadership and success - but about what a truly great man my dad was and what a huge impact he's had on my life.

12 Strategies for Leadership Success


My father, the late Dr. Claude H. Rhea, Jr., executed and exemplified lessons on leadership throughout his short life of sixty-two years. He was a strategic visionary, a 32-year colon cancer survivor, a member of the prestigious Royal Society of the Arts, an accomplished international lyric tenor who recorded five albums (one with the Concert Orchestra of London), a published author (including his autobiography, a cook book and two song books for children), a Dean of a Music School and a President of a College.



These are his life lessons for leadership:

1. Creed. Create a mission statement for your life and your job. Each professional and personal project you undertake should fall under the tenets of your creed and belief system. An important part of my dad’s creed was to make faith an action verb and to honor God in all that he did.

2. Heed. Surround yourself with people that can provide insight and wisdom, even if you disagree with them. You should always understand all sides of an issue before making key decisions. Connect with others and network.

READ THE REST HERE!

Following Christ in Righteousness

Pastor Mark Driscoll at the beginning of this year taught on 1 Peter 1:13-18 "(13)Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." He remarked that we all must hope in something. When we stop hoping, we are dying. The first way we pursue hope is by being a wise learner, learning about following Christ in righteousness.

Take some time to ask yourself these questions:

What do I need to learn?

What clouds my judgement?

In what area am I not acting like God?

How am I like my heritage(flesh) instead of like Christ(new birth)?

What will my legacy be?

Hear God's Word, Read God's Word, Memorize God's Word, Study God's Word, Discuss God's Word!

Post-A-Pearl

If you're reading this you probably have a story of how God has worked good through a trial. Please let us be encouraged through your story by posting your own pearl girl story. Follow the link on the left side of the website where it says "post-a-pearl."

Guest Blogger ... Ashleigh Slater

Starve a Married Crush

It was two summers ago. The lazy mid-day warmth of Colorado June filled the window-framed room at our local library. The chilly air of Spring was behind us.

My two young daughters sat on daisy-shaped stools, enraptured in the branch's weekly toddler time. Contented smiles adorned their faces as their chubby hands clapped along to "If You're Happy and You Know It."

I sat in the back of the room, my hands deliberately folded in my lap. Motionless. I didn't feel so happy.

My thoughts gravitated to my marriage.

Emotionally, it had been a difficult Spring. The responsibilities of work, church, and parenting held a strong grasp on my husband Ted's attention. And whether reality agreed with me or not, I'd come to feel neglected, unnoticed, unloved.

That morning I was experiencing the pain more acutely.

My gaze wandered around the room, studying the other parents as they clapped along with their kids. It was then that I noticed a 30-something father with his two small sons.

Something about him caused my gaze to linger.

Later, as I buckled my daughters into their carseats in our minivan, my thoughts returned to this stranger.

That's when concern set in. I realized what was happening. The seeds of a crush were attempting to take root, and my fragile emotional state provided fertile ground. I felt my resolve to keep my heart steadfastly faithful to my husband wanting to waiver.

Snapping back to my senses, I made a decision. No more toddler time—at least for now. I was unwilling to return to a situation where a crush had the potential to develop.

Since that day, I’ve pondered: What's a married woman like me—who wants to guard against even the hint of a crush—to do? Here’s what I’ve found helpful:

Be Honest. Relationship experts point to infatuations as being more about the crusher than the crushee. This resonates with me. After that day at toddler time, I got honest with myself, asking deep questions. Why do I feel drawn to this man? Is there a need or desire I'm trying to fill in an inappropriate way through noticing this dad?

Turns out, I desired the attention I perceived as lacking at home. The problem was that a crush wasn't the appropriate answer to this legitimate need. Instead, a proper response was to talk directly to Ted and work through it with him.

Be Accountable. It was two years before I talked publicly about that day at the library. I was too ashamed to mention it. But it would have been helpful for me to tell a trusted, godly female friend about the incident.

While it's important to pick someone who won't condemn or ridicule, at the same time she needs to be an individual who's not afraid to discourage the crush from continuing. I know to choose a friend who won’t just dismiss the issues of my heart as "normal."

Be Willing to Run. That June day in my minivan, I ran away from a potential crush. I quickly fled. I believe applying Paul's instruction in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to "flee sexual immorality"—can be like water on the developing flames of a crush.

Because having a crush while married is considered harmless by some experts, I'm confident there are a good number of women who scoff at the concept of these infatuations as sexual immorality. But as hard as it may be to swallow, from a biblical perspective, they are.

The thing is, the relevant biblical principles are clearly laid out in Matthew 5:27-28. Here Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Lust, defined as "to have a yearning or desire," isn't always sexual in nature. It can also be an emotional yearning for attention. And isn't that what a crush often is?

Committing to flee from lust, even in its most innocuous-looking forms, can safeguard my marriage against infidelity.

I learned a valuable lesson that day at our local library—I am not immune to developing a crush. But the good news is that through honesty, accountability, and the commitment to flee, crushes aren't inevitable.

A lot has changed since that June morning. Now when I reflect on my marriage, I no longer feel neglected, unnoticed, or unloved. While I do have the occasional day I long for more attention, it's not a defining characteristic of my relationship with Ted. We have successfully navigated through that difficult season.

And every once in a while, I think back to the dad at the library—thankful that he is nothing more than a reminder of my determination to always starve a crush.

____________________________

Ashleigh Slater (www.ashleighslater.com) is the editor of Ungrind (www.ungrind.org), a wezbine that churns out weekly encouragement for 20- and 30-something Christian women. Her writing has appeared in the book Chicken Soup for the Teenage Christian Soul, as well magazines and online publications including Focus on the Family Magazine, Radiant Magazine Online, Guideposts’ Angels on Earth Magazine, and Small Group Exchange. Ashleigh lives in Colorado with her best friend and husband, Ted, and their three daughters.

Article Credit
This article was adapted from “Starve a Crush Club” (http://www.ungrind.org/2009/07/starve-a-crush-club.html) by Ashleigh Slater. It originally appeared on Ungrind.org. Copyright Ó 2009 Ashleigh Slater.

Guest Blogger ... Jennifer Dunlap

Oh... I have been waiting and wanting to write this post for so long.

I've even started it several times, but the words seemed less-than-inspired, so I have backed off, waited, saved many "drafts".

Then two days ago, one of my wonderful friends waved me down in the preschool carline and handed me a book titled, "Pearl Girls: Encountering grit, experiencing grace" by Margaret McSweeney.

I haven't read the book yet (though it promises to be a great one), but the contents of the book weren't even the reason my friend passed it along. She knew that the title and subtitle alone were worth their weight in literary inspiration to me, and so here I am... finally ready to tell you about my little "pearl girl".

Several months ago, I wrote about choosing a name for this child. I told you that I wanted it to be something meaningful, something special, something that defined what God was up to in our lives as He chose to bless us with this addition to our family.

We (ok, I...) poured through baby name books and began making lists. And then I stumbled upon a name that meant, simply: PEARL.

My heartbeat quickened and I drew in a deep breath. Surely this was to be her name. I ran it by my husband, who happened to like the name anyway, so it was decided. We have called her by name ever since.

So, why PEARL? Besides conjuring up an image of someone's 85 year old grandma or high tea at some elite country club, what could possibly mean so much to me about a name that means PEARL?

The seed, as it were, was planted about eight years ago, when I began working for a very well known jewelry company. As my career grew, it became necessary for me to learn in greater detail about the products I was tasked to sell. Our company was known the world over for exquisite jewelry and gemstones... the best of the absolute best... and (besides diamonds) one of our greatest claims to gemstone fame was our offering of pearls.

Each morning, I would slip on pristine white gloves and carefully lay strand after strand of pearl ropes into showcases for the viewing pleasure of hundreds of clients who would be walking by each day to admire their beauty.

Some were "cultured" pearls - smooth, perfectly round, glistening in all shades of white. Some were "natural" pearls - each unique in shape and found in a variety of colors from blush pinks to steely grays.

I loved them all. I decided that while diamonds were typically a girl's best friend... I was going to become a PEARL GIRL. I took product courses, read books, and spent time just staring at and trying on my favorite gemstones.

I learned that pearls were formed when a small, unexpected grain of "something", usually sand or grit, found it's way into an oyster. The oyster, in an effort to shield itself from the uninvited guest, secreted a substance known as "nacre" (pronounced nay' ker). Depending upon the length of time the oyster was left to deal with it's grit, it would secrete layer upon layer upon layer of nacre. The more layers that were introduced, the larger and more irridescent the little ball, or pearl, would grow. Under the right circumstances, the pearl had the opportunity to grow larger and larger, and more and more beautiful, which, in the end, would result in determining it's value.

Now that you've completed Pearls: 101, let's flash forward a few years:

If you know our story,you may recall that my first pregnancy with Drew was an absolute fiasco. I was no good at pregnancy and decided quickly after his birth that one child was enough for us. We didn't want to be disobedient to God's plans for our family, but we absolutely COULD NOT imagine going through another nine months of pregnancy every again. After much prayer and discussion throughout the next four years, we rested in a place of contentment with our little family of three.

And then, we became swept up in the current of excitement created by my brother and his wife's desire to begin their family. It wasn't until weeks after we received the good news that we would be expecting a new niece or nephew that I began to become suspicious of some signs my body seemed to be shouting out at me. I took a pregnancy test and... SURPRISE... found out that we, too, would be adding to our little family.

This was not planned, and I was not excited. I was anxious...scared to death, in fact. I had feelings of guilt for selfishly taking anything away from my brother and sister-in-law's excitement.

So, along with a tiny little human, I was now dealing with a bit of grit in my spiritual life.

But this turn of events, while unexpected to me, was known by God from the beginning of time. And in His infinite grace, He had already set up a system of support and encouragement. He'd been preparing my heart. He'd been in the processing of opening my eyes for quite some time to His ways, which are higher than my ways, and His thoughts that are higher than my thoughts. And at the time, while I couldn't imagine any of the reasons "WHY", I was resting in the knowledge of "WHO". I knew that He was in charge and had something in this that was for His glory.

So, like layer upon layer of nacre, this little person inside me was coated with prayer. I withdrew to Scripture on my sickest days. Friends provided encouragement and accountability on my grumpiest ones. The bond of sharing in the pregnancy process together deepened my friendship with my sister-in-law. And somehow, a pregnancy that was intially met with surprise, fear, and anxiety, has been growing into the lovliest of treasures in my life.

We are less than a month away from her birth now. But unlike a pearl of the sea, my prayer for this little girl is that the nacre of God's grace continues to grow around her long after she's taken out of the warm, comfortable depths of her current home.

She, too, will face grit in her life. There will be times I long to protect her from hurt, from pain, from suffering. But I know if I entrust her now to the faithful love of the Father, He will continue the work of growing her into a beautiful, irridescent pearl. And when she radiates with the glory of God (Oh, I pray that His glory is so evident in her life always), then the world will see the value and treasure that began with the tiniest, most unexpected little seed.

And while I guarantee you I won't be slipping on white gloves any time soon, I cannot wait to study our newest gem... to finally hold this pearl in my own hands!

For Megan.
We love you, little pearl, and we can't wait to meet you soon!

_____________________________

Jenny Dunlap lives in Clearwater, FL with her husband of 11 yrs and their 4 yr old son, Andrew. She enjoys reading, writing, and hanging out with her boys. Jenny has been amazed by God's abundant grace during two difficult pregnancies and is spending most of her time lately preparing for God's newest little treasure, who will be joining their family any day now!